I am a selfish person and always have been. There have been times when I have thought that what others don't know, won't hurt them. This has been my justification for many acts of selfishness. It's going to have to change. I'm going to have to change.
Now, I'm not a bad or cruel person by any means. More times than not, I am sweet to everyone I encounter (especially when drinking). A professor of mine asked the class how many of us look a drive-thru worker in the eye when we get our food. I raised my hand because it was true. I'm always nice to people who handle my food. It's one of my mottoes.
With that said, I am in no way, shape, or form, a saint. Out of the 7 Deadly Sins these are my most frequent vices: Lust, Sloth, and Pride. The others, not so much. So, in my way of thinking, 3 out of 7 ain't bad (sorry Meatloaf). Of course, I could throw in Gluttony, but that only comes into play when I'm at a buffet (which is not often) or at a Japanese steakhouse. Oh, and Olive Garden.
I only half indulge in Pride. Although I care somewhat about the opinions of others, I do not wish ill things on anyone. I only choose to compete with myself and my own self-image is priority one. That is were the vanity part comes in. I don't strive to be better than the masses but I do strive to be better than my current self. The question is: When will I ever think I'm good enough? Probably never. I kinda hope so but then again, I kinda hope not.
It's kind of upsetting to me that Sloth is considered a deadly sin. Is it not punishment enough to be sad? However, since the interpretation of Sloth has changed a bit, it fits me a little more. I am lazy, lazy, lazy. The good news is that I'm not as bad as I used to be. I'm losing the feeling of indifference about the outside world. Of course, I'm not yet sure if this is a good thing...
That leaves us with the coup de grace. Lust. This is the one that's gonna get me, I'm afraid. That's all I will say about that. I'd rather this not turn into the longest blog in history.
No one is perfect. And thank whatever or whoever you believe in for that. And if you believe in nothing then thank the nothingness because whether or not you know it, you are worshiping it.