Title

I am very blank today creatively. One would think that spending a week in a state-run mental facility would be enough for someone to stay on their medications. I really don't know why I can't seem to do that... I find any small excuse to quit which in a great way mirrors my life so it should be no real surprise, yet I'm perplexed by it. Today is not the best day but tomorrow could be better.

My Life Story (Thus Far)

She bought a palm tree with her husband on their honeymoon. The tree was never a symbol of their undying love for each other. It was just a tree. Her husband planted the tree when they returned home. She never watered the tree or gave it much thought. The marriage lasted 3 years. She remained at the home they had once shared as did the tree. Although the climate was thought to be too cold for the tree to survive in, it did and grew with each passing year. When she did take the time to look at the tree she couldn’t believe that it had once fit into the backseat of her car.

She eventually went insane because the world around her made sense.

The End

Surveillance

Awesome movie but an even more awesome song by David Lynch!

Lithium

is what I'm taking now. I just started it today so I'm not sure how well it will work. I did start the day out in a very, very manic mood which I love and hate at the same time. It has faded away and I'm much more calm at the moment, however, I'm wishing now that I would've had time to write my Political Ideologies essay while in that state although I'm not sure how coherent it would have been...

I'm swamped with school work, movies to watch, books to read, and family responsibilities so this blogging drought may continue for a bit. I would like to say before I publish this that being a political science major in the area that I live in is quite taxing on my psyche. If I thought most people were stupid before choosing this concentration, I can't even explain what I think of them now.

Wish I Could...

think of a good title. I probably shouldn't even write since I can't think of anything to write about. I guess I'm hoping that as I type something profound will come to me. Ah, the eternal optimist.

I'm on a new medicine called Seroquel. My physician thinks I have bipolar I or manic-depression. Duh. They are suppose to give me some other meds to go with it but I don't have insurance so I've had to wait on some kind of charity that helps people in my situation. I have another appointment next week and I should find out then if I'm approved. They gave me a ton of free samples of the Seroquel but didn't have any of the other meds. For some reason it seems that anti-psychotic meds are very expensive.

They pills I've been taking are working a little but I don't really like the effects. I stay in a daze most of the time and all level of creativity are lost. At least I'm not up, down, up, down, up, down, etc...

Something I Thought Of

It seems to me that we have become a society that refuses to fail and uses any means necessary in order to get the false reassurance that we are progressing, when in fact we are only deforming ourselves to the point of absolute disability. That's all I got for now.

What Can I Say?

I'm going over things to discuss and yet nothing seems substantive. To be honest, I'm only writing right now because I feel like I should and there's no reason to have this blog if I'm not going to write in it, so...

Current semester is almost over. There may not be another one since my financial aid got so royally screwed up and I owe $1600 which I shockingly do not have lying around. The registrar saw fit to put a registration hold on my account because of it. One person from that office told me I would be fine and the next semester's refund would pay for it. After the hold was placed I opted for a second opinion and of course, it was quite contradictory to the first. So, in a nutshell, it's quite the shitty predicament. I really enjoy going to school. Of course, the current school sucks donkey balls but I have goals and the only way to achieve them is by forging ahead. Maybe I'll start stripping and be the first true stripper to be paying her way through college.

That's really the biggest issue I have at the moment. Well, besides a possible ovarian cyst (or possibly worse). I don't have health insurance so I can't really get any tests done to find out what the incredible pain in my side is from. The E.R. did rule out kidney stones, however. And the morphine was nice...